M is a woman in, oh, I'd say her mid-50's. She was born in Guadalupe, is of an Afro-Caribbean background, and moved to Paris when she was young. She has 3 grown children and 3 grandkids. She is recently, I think, divorced, and her ex is with another woman. M is convinced that the other woman is consulting with a Maribou, another sort of magic maker/diviner like Kara, against her, her friends, her family... generally anyone associated with her. Her most recent work with Kara and the trip to the village was intended to counter the work of this Maribou and work against the evil ex who she is also convinced is trying to poison her.
Oh, and she's also scared of the "black liquid." Yeah, so to be honest, as you would imagine from any shaman/witch doctor/diviner, which is what you would consider Kara, he is often under the influence of something or the other that acts as a medium in his work. One day after a few puffs of something unknown and lots of wine, he was on the phone with her and mentioned something about black liquid(Ian thinks he was pouring some tea and just said it randomly as he was looking at the tea being poured) and to be wary of it.
Ok, so here's where it gets good, she is visiting her son one day. Hes working on his car outside and she sees some of this "black liquid" under his car(um, yeah, that would be OIL). She freaks out, is convinced harm is coming to her son...
Anyway, I digress. Someone asked me, "Did you expect her to be all there?" Of course I didn't. But what I imagined was a bit of an eccentric, a Shirley McLane, Psychic Friends Network groupie type. Someone grasping for something to believe in and something to help her control things in her life that were hard for her to deal with. Ok, she is that, but in addition, she is terribly paranoid, horribly culturally insensitive, needlessly cheap, and as Ian said daily, "truly certifiable."
The paranoia I think I've already highlighted. You go between being annoyed at her and feeling sorry for her and the way she needs to believe that the world is out to get her. What a sad sad life that is. Here she is in a fabulous small village and all she can do is complain and freak out and cry in front of people that don't understand public crying. She was not able to enjoy a minute of it from what I could tell.
But that I might be able to forgive her for if it wasn't for her insensitivity to where she was. For every day we were in the village, it costs Ian's teacher 10,000cfa, about $22. Thats for our food and food for all the people helping us and their extended families. About 10 families, close to 50 people total. This is normal. This is why its expected when you visit a village like this that you take gifts, typically money or food items that can be contributed towards meals. M did not pay a dime. And when it came to the work(mainly the purchasing of the bull, she only gave Kara $1 when we had left for his actual professional services), she brought Euros to pay with thinking that she could "change them just like I can in Paris!" Uh-huh...does the picture below look anything like Paris to you? Someone had to be sent to Bamako to change them for her at the cost of $20 in transportation that she did not pay for. Kara was going broke from her being there. We helped out where we could, but at the same time, did not feel like it was any more our responsibility to float her. She nickled and dimed everything. Ian meets with Kara today to see where things stand. I've offered to work up a bill, something typically not done in his line of work, but something I think she'll understand more than anything. He lost a week of work out there for her. Dionfacourou gave her meat and grain they didn't have to spare and she had nothing but complaints as thank yous.
Apologies, I know I seem to be going off a bit on her, but you have to respect the ways of the places you visit. Is she expected to know all of these nuances we can because of our time here in Mali, no, but she is expected to ask, to show some sort of appreciation and to not expect them to just do things her way.
Perhaps I should stop my badgering of her. She spent a lot of time with me, as well, trying to tell me what to do with Marshall. I feigned a small understanding of French. She spent a lot of time telling a lot of people what to do in French, expecting them to understand, even a 3 year old child. Some of Kara's friends said that, in their opinion, this is typical of the French. They think West Africa is their playground and they can do with it as they will. Its but one result of colonialism...of course this is a general statement, but people like Miss M help affirm it.
Morals of the story: Don't let your anger with your situation ruin you appreciation of all other things in life and always, always, show respect to those who feed and shelter you when you are far from home.
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